By: Gabriela Babila
Founder of Matana Organics
Growing up in Los Angeles, I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by many different cultures and to have a diverse group of friends. Coming from an immigrant household myself, there was something comforting about knowing I wasn’t alone. But even if I had a network of friends from different backgrounds, I always struggled with maintaining friendships. Especially in high school, but it continued to be a problem in college. I never had a “best friend”, and if I ever got close to someone, it was often short lived.
Towards the end of my college career I finally met my best friend, who is now my husband. We had such an amazing bond that we never had the urge to go out with other people. However, this only caused me to move further away from the few friends I had. But on the other, it made me feel like maybe having a close girlfriend wasn’t in the cards for me and I was oddly okay with that.
At the time I didn’t understand why, but now I see it had nothing to do with who I was or who they were. The issue was that we were in different stages in our lives, and I was outgrowing my friendships.
Now that I’m a mom I still struggle with finding my “tribe”, but I see now more than ever that it is indeed important to have a group of friends I can relate to about the struggles of motherhood. What I thought I never cared for or needed is now something I desire. My husband will always be my best friend, but let’s face it: they just don’t get it. Women do need each other, and I realize now that having a relationship with other women is not something we should avoid.
My quest to find mom friends was daunting especially because I’m a reserved person. I realized early on that making mom friends doesn’t always happen as easily as you’d think.
The challenges and obstacles of being new mother can make maintaining friendships far too difficult. However, we can all relate to the fact that sometimes being a mom can feel lonely. So, the first few months with a new baby I ventured through different ways to meet other moms. Here are some different ways I met local mommies:
- I downloaded the Peanut App. -- which is highly recommended for moms who are too shy or too scared to approach other moms.
- I signed up to mommy- and-me classes. KidsPass --This is a perfect way to spend quality time with your baby and bond, while still socializing with other moms.
- I took my baby to local baby music concerts as well, which is a great way to inform yourself about other local events for moms and their babies.
- And I even DMed other moms on social medial. This might sound weird, but it wasn’t weird at all. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised to find that most moms (including influencers) respond happily and often agree to meet you for coffee.
At times it felt a lot like a dating experience. Sure, there are a ton of moms out there, but you won’t connect with everyone right away. Some moms might not fit your vibe and things simply won’t work out between you. But some moms you will click with right away, whether because you’ve had similar experiences, similar ways of thinking about motherhood, or simply because you have things in common.
What I want you to take away from my story is this: don’t be afraid to approach other moms and exchange contact info with like-minded moms you think you can get along with. I know it’s difficult, especially if you’re shy, but take a deep breath and always go in with an open mind and an open heart. Your mom tribe is out there, all you have to do is find them!